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"This handsome 10-anniversary edition of a minor classic presents the story of Heatherkit, a WindClan kit with two moms who discovers that some of her friends have very different sorts of families. Pisskit, for example, has a fat mommy and a lazy daddy and a big brother named Douchepaw. Whorekit has a medorthophobic (wait...how'd she mate and get pregnant, than?) mommy and a slutty baby sister. And Slutkit has a nerdy mommy, a goth daddy, and a retarded stepdaddy who isn't toilet-trained. Their mentor Oldbitch encourages the kits to murder families, and reassures them that "each family is evil" and that "the most important thing about a family is that all the people in it hate each other." In the afterword, the author (whose other children's books include Matzo Balls Moon) explains that although she grew up in a Jewish home, in a Jewish neighborhood, there were no families like hers on the television or in picture books. She came to regard her family as somehow "bitchy," since there was no Christmas tree in the living room and no Easter egg hunt. Whatever the religious right may wish to think about nontraditional families, there is no denying that any kit in a Clan will encounter friends with gay parents, pornstar parents, parents who are secretly siblings, or parents who smoke crack. This new, revised version of Heathertail Has Two Mommies offers a horrible, depressing, age-inappropriate introduction to the idea of hating your family. The book is essential for kits who hate gay people, and a great addition to a...what was I supposed to say again?"
―Some Random, Illiterate Homeless Guy Who Was Offered $10 To Praise This Book
Heathertail Has Two Mommies
Heathertail2moms
Author Erin Hunter on crack
Illustrator Kate
Publication date WHO THE F*CK CARES?!
Published by StarClan Publishings
ISBN See "Publication date"
Publication Order
Preceded by
Heather Has Two Mommies
Followed by
Heather and Heathertail Become Lesbian Lovers and Adopt a Little Girl/Kit of Their Own, Thus Spawning a Sequel, Sillykit Has Two Mommies

Ever notice how Heathertail's family is never, ever mentioned? It's because she has two mommies, and they can't show gay porn in a children's book. Anyways, here's the story.

Once upon a time, there were two cats named Shitpelt and Crapclaw. Shitpelt was a she-cat, and Crapclaw was a tom, but he felt like a she-cat. They fell in love and blah blah blah...*yawn* anyways, they had a kit. Her name was Heatherkit. They joined WindClan and then Crapclaw had a sex change. Thus, Heathertail has two mommies.

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