- "Hey, what chu doin you lousy... You're so damn hot... *drools*"
- ―Jayfeather, first seeing his stick after tripping over it
Jayfeather has a gray pelt and pale blue eyes. He is also an insane medicine cat like all other ThunderClan medicine cats. He was raised by his aunty, who he loved greatly. But, when he found out it was his aunty he had loved and not his real mother, he ran off to a 7Eleven and got himself drunk with all the slushies, and spent the next moon throwing up in the lake. When he was about to return, he tripped over a stick, whom is his mate. Briarlight often wakes up to the stick shoving itself up Jayfeather's ass in a painful mating (i.e.: one-cat masturbation) ritual, but says nothing and films it to blackmail him if it will be necessary.
Jayfeather, newly dubbed Jaywanker, loves to wank to his stick, who he thinks is a cat called Stick, who in no way resembles the Stick in SkyClan. Everyone is afraid to tell him it's not a cat, because he will use his secret boyfriend Rock as evidence that Stick is a cat. If anyone explains why it's flawed reasoning he will send them to hell with his cat drugs. He loves to have threesomes with Rock (who is reluctant) and Stick. Which essentially means cat sodomy.
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- "I have rights to love my stick! What, you think I'm on drugs again?! *quickly throws drugs away* You're crazy, what are druuuugsssss... I liek cookieeessss..."
- ―Jayfeather, after being acused of going at the drugs again by Ashfur